Sensitivity is a personality trait. In and of itself, it is neither good nor bad. But if you have that trait, you can choose to turn it into a plus.

For example, should a friend criticize you, you could turn it into a positive by thinking deeply about what has been said so you can correct a possible fault. Whatever has been said, however, is certainly not something you need to worry over. If you feel stung, take a moment to congratulate yourself on having the capacity for humility and self-reflection. People who are indifferent often lack any perspective for self improvement.

My mentor, Josei Toda, taight me about this, showing me that the best way to avoid losing confidence or falling into needless despair over criticism is to learn to be a good listener. Instead of becoming defensive or thinking immediately that you are hopeless, choose to allow yourself to be stimulated toward further personal growth. Actively listen to what is being said in order to find the positive nugget.

That having been said, after sifting through the criticism for whatever value there might be, it is very important that you are determined not to brood over it or withdraw into your shell.

(Excerpted from The Way of Youth and reprinted with permission from Middleway Press.)